Sgt. Joe
Sgt. Joe (Aka Mr. Frosty, The Big Troll) was born sometime during the Stone Age, and was unthawed after being frozen in a glacier. When thawed he found himself in a strange new world and came to the True Mirror Forums on the 5th of July 2008 after searching Google.com for Human Rights. He refers to himself in speech as 'The Sergeant' to show his authority. Beginnings The Sergeant was originally involved in conflicts with two members - Seraphim Swordmaster and Gheb. The former was affectionately named 'Seraphim Dickmaster', whilst Gheb was known as 'pig boy'. Coining these terms he created quite a ruckus, to the point where the Admins insisted on warning him officially. It was always difficult to determine whether or not his posts were trolling or genuine involvement and good humour. It seems that Sgt. Joe can write in a sophisticated manner at times (usually during religious debates), although he usually talks in a third person perspective with a pre-twenty-first century view on life. Current status After a period of time The Sergeant began to be accepted by the populace of the members of The True Mirror Forum, who were drawn to his individuality and mental posting. Often he makes games and various fun activities for people to get involved in, and he seems to take part in Roleplays too, as characters such as himself or the Cheshire Cat. He seems to be good friends with Platypus too, as well as Whalesong~. The Sergeant is not a hugely active member, usually appearing once every week to bless the forum with his inane, hilarious observational replies. Love Interests The Sergeant has enjoyed two love interests on The True Mirror Forums. The first was with Princess_Mangatsu_Gallia, of whome he wrote poetry for. His most famous work was: Confession of feelings for Princess_Mangatsu_Gallia: "Oh Princess, how fair and true that a caveman like me, would learn to love you through fair and thin the point of a pin, the sharks fin, I am carving your name in the cave of my heart my soul is at one with your bountiful breasts your huge big momma bouncies that make me cry all night out in sheer delight as I touch myself. There. I have no care. No quarrel or quip I will tell you Princess_Mangatsu_Gallia but only if you're quick for I fear it may be too late to win your affection OH HOLD THAT THOUGHT I HAVE AN ERECTION!!" The two remained together for seven months, Mangatsu giving birth to three catgirl children and naming them all Joseph. However things were not all rosy behind closed doors, and when Mangatsu ended up in a vegetable coma after being pushed down the stairs in a domestic fued with Joseph. Jr, The Sergeant's life broke down. He went to therapy and suffered from depression between 2008 and early 2009, finally finding the courage in February 2009 to give in alcohol and go to the Alcoholic's Anonymous, where he claimed that his name was Joe and that he was a de-frostee. In the following months he forgot Mangatsu and moved onto Whalesong~. The two have an interesting relationship that can best be described as awkward, often preying on each others weaknesses. Religious beliefs Sgt. Joe has expressed two forms of religious belief in his time on The True Mirror Forums. One seems to be retained from his tribal roots, where he prays to The Sacred Auroch of the North, and wishes for the 'Milk Mother' to be blessed (See Miss Muffin). The other is that of the Jehovah's Witness faith. This is perhaps hinting that he is open to more than one religious belief. When questioned he seems to keep his religious identity to himself, possibly out of fear, or maybe because he isn't yet sure himself. Comparison Reviews/Poetry The Sergeant is big on poetry and often features them in his book titled 'The Big Book of Caveman Poetry'. He is also known for writing long comparison reviews between Roleplays, including the Fifth Cycle VS. Celesti comparison review and the Medieval Pirate RP VS. Celesti review. Reception People originally took offense to The Sergeant but it seems in recent times since 2009 he has garnered mostly positive reception. 'He wrote this as an evaluation of himself: ' Chortle-pip! The Sergeant has had a difficult year little cherubs, from raging battles with 'Seraphim Dickmaster' to romancing 'Slagathor', but he has learnt to better himself from these ordeals and above are individual snippets from some of The Sergeant's greatest moments. I must say that, through it all, she offers me protection. '' ''A lot of love and affection. Whether I'm right or wrong. And we're not talking about The Sergeant's hand, no NO, we are talking about a very special little lady. '' ''Princess_Mangatsu_Gallia, honey, I know that you might not be able hear me, being in a vegetable coma right now, but I want you to know that I have never ever meant to do you wrong. I have faught off the evil nasty bastard 'Seraphim Swordmaster' for almost a year now, and in some small way, I wish that he didn't have to die. '' But all sinners must be purged, and I will make sure that he doesn't hurt you again. Oh sploops, he's deceased. Baw. The Sergeant reviews himself: 1. Graphics! THE SERGEANT now available in Hi-definition! See his bawtastic bawness like never before as he rips members of 'The True Mirror Forums' with his cunning stealth and wit. 2. SOUND! The Sergeant has a lovely singing voice. '' And now sounds more like Tarzan than Jane thanks to the help of Puberty. What do you think Anubis? 3. Anubis says OOOOKAAAAAAAAY Joe, the term GRRRRRREAT copyrighted by some fudging tiger. 4. STORYLINE! The Sergeant is now brought to life and far more understandable. Watch as he becomes a Jehova's Witness, braving bullying and ridicule in exchange for hellfire and brimstone! '' And now The Sergeant would like to slow things down with a little help from his friends: Oooooh. What would you do if I sang out tune? Shoot you, you retard. Now onto the show! Sergeant Joe the musical is opening in a cinema near you. I think we can all agree that he is the smartest, funniest member on this website, and those that do not think so can suck on my enormous hairy shlonger. Just kidding guys. Oh Joe ;) (Fade-out bubble with sitcom laughter) That's my Joe! *Wink Wink* 10/10'' Famous Quotes